Devoted Decaturs

Often anxiety and depression remind me I do not come close to “having it all together” and let me tell y’all I have definitely not had anything together this month. November has been difficult for me. Aniexty and depression tormented me. One week in particular felt like an entire month. That week was the hardest week I have had all year. It went something like this....  Monday our  oldest friend had  craniofacial  surgery requiring a two-week recovery  period . He came home  on Tuesday  and both boys had  visitation with their family . On Wednesday, all three of the nuggets   were home  with me for the holiday. Thursday, our littlest-one  had  an ups et tummy so  home he came .  Friday our youngest pup had  surgery.  I also found out my grandma was in the hospital but was stable. Early Saturday morning I  got the call  that  she went home to be with Jesus.  Her death was unexpected. ...

"Strong As A Foster Mother" .. Often I do not feel strong. I do not feel special or called. Most days I am tired and ungrateful.  Y’all, I am broken. I am flawed. I am learning as I go. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗼𝗼!  Of course there is a process and if this is not for you, you’ll know! But to start... do you have room? Not just in your home, but in your heart. No, really? Do you have love to give?  We decided that we have the room and the love to give.. and guess what? God provided the literal room. The home. When you walk in faith He truly paves the way. Our house is His.  𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲. So tell me, what are you afraid of? We all have fears.. me too, but remember...  F ear is the enemy of faith.  Okay listen, we are just two broken people, holding hands, stumbling along and loving others as we go! It is busy and fun and hard and scary but it is also worth it. 𝗬𝗮‘𝗹𝗹 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗳𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗹𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗵 𝗶𝘁.  ...

We have had the boys for three days now and I'll be honest, it feels like it's been a week. Today was a hard day. Y’all, it was a really hard day. Our 8 year old friend tested a lot of boundaries today. From hitting others and ignoring directions to slamming doors and yelling during work calls. It was a challenge. I was embarrassed, frustrated, helpless and exhausted. We understood now why we weren’t his first placement. It’s tough.  When Damien and I sat down to decompress tonight I told him I’ve fallen more in love with him through this process and I didn’t think I could love him more. He shared his appreciation for my pushing us to do this.  After a hard day we both felt grateful, not just for each other but for our 8 year old friend and the opportunity to learn and grow in love.  I told Damien tonight that I realized for the first time I know we are walking by faith. We said yes to kids we’d never seen and have loved them from the minute we met. I’m not talking the fe...

Our first placement left as quickly as she arrived and although it was short lived we were attached. We wanted to know where she was going, could she come back to us if she needed, and I had a list I wanted the next caregivers to know. She said she’d miss us as she left and just like that a piece of my heart went out the door with a smile and a wave.  No less than 72 hours later we got another call, this time for two boys. Brothers, ages 8 and 2! We will meet our newest friends tomorrow and so today .. I nest! I don’t know what other word to use to describe how I feel when preparing for children I’ve never met. It’s just like preparing for my newborn. Hoping I have it together but knowing I don’t. Getting things tidy, organized and ready for the unknown. I told my friend, Beth, this morning that I clean and organize to distract myself from the panic. That’s how I felt when I was pregnant too.What if he comes now and I’m not ready? What if he doesn’t like me??  I feel the same ...

  We got the news a week ago that we could officially take foster care placements and today our first one arrived. Our friend is 14, she is quiet, gentle and has exceptionalities. We went for a walk around the neighborhood as a family and she pushed our boy in his stroller and smiled as she told my husband about our trip to dollar tree for snacks, crayons and a coloring book. I’m awake now, while the house sleeps, anxiety stealing my rest. Is this the calm before the storm? I worry. Are we making her feel comfortable? Safe? Will she wake up tomorrow and be angry that she’s here? Will I try too hard with my people pleaser personality? Will our son bite her? (he’s 15 months and in that phase now). All the questions. All the thoughts. All the self-doubt.  And yet the love I feel trumps it all, gives me hope and peace. Knowing we have friends praying for us, a God that loves us, and a bed occupied by someone in need helps me breath out all the anxiousness. I don’t have to have the...

Our boy is busy! He runs all the time and that is not an exaggeration so I'm never surprised when I get a call that he's hurt himself. When I picked him up for the scar pictured I could tell the teachers felt terrible and I had just celebrated my birthday so I brought them back some cake. I wanted to reassure them that I wasn't upset but in fact, I'm thankful! Thankful that he is loved, learning, and active. Thankful for his village. You've probably heard the phrase "it takes a village" and it does. I'm excited, and nervous but mostly excited, to partner with hurting families in the healing process so I can be apart of their child's village. Our boy has a huge village and I'm so blessed and thankful for our people.  When I think about the new kiddos we'll get I imagine what their village looks like.. I think about how I can nurture them through healing and reunification but I also think of the parents. Just like our sons teachers were sorry...

 I had our newborn strapped to my chest when I told my husband I felt called to foster. He was washing the dishes and I came up behind him and blurted it out. I don’t remember his exact response but I’m pretty sure it included the words “what” and “crazy”... but here we are a year(ish) later about to be licensed foster parents! After I told my husband I wanted to do this, we took the next few weeks to research, talk to others, and pray about it. We talked to the only two foster families we knew and researched the process. We learned so much during that time of digging into what foster care in our area looks like. We told friends and family we were considering it and were met with both support and questioning. There were a few key points during those weeks that helped us decide we shouldn’t hide from this need anymore. •There is a large need, much larger than we realized •It is not a costly process, in fact most agencies cover any costs that may arise during the licensing process (i...